HandmadeMN Fall Market 2011: the goods.

I have been terribly remiss in keeping my Egret Effects Etsy shop going since the schnooglefritz was born, and there was no way I could have gotten myself together to be a vendor at the latest market - but that's ok. I went, I browsed, and I purchased.

There were many, many things I wanted. But I went with useful items and am very pleased. I only have a picture of one of the items and it borders on too much info, but the cute fabric you see here is what my new nursing pads look like! And they are awesome and that is all I will say.

I also got another wet bag to keep in the diaper bag for dirty clothes and such. It is also awesome. If I may rant about baby products for a moment, not all wet bags are created equal. The ones from certain large retailers are ok, and those are the ones we registered for, but if you *accidentally* put them in the dryer the plastic lining might crack or get a hole in it because it's cheap plastic. The one we got as a gift from a friend's co-op has the same lining as my new one - much nicer and sturdier, yet somehow more pliable.

I really wanted to indulge in something for myself, but I resisted. The Wild Dog Studio booth kept beckoning ... love her silver stuff.

Does it count as crafting if you do it all online?

Well, it's creative, right?

So we have this sweet alphabet book made by Auntie Becky and I recently decided to make one of a different variety, because I am addicted to Shutterfly.

I've been having fun coming up with the objects I'll take pictures of August with to represent each letter, and the other day I did our first test shots. This is probably my favorite: F is for Frame...

He was not as pleased. Another preview: Y is for Yarn...

Of course.

Finn's first.

One of the benefits of "popping" out August a little early is that I was then able to attend Finn's first birthday!


Check out his cute shirt made by his mommy!

Huh. Didn't expect to give birth the next day.

When I posted last, I was 38 weeks and one day and thinking, "gee, I feel like this baby might be early." And then he was born. Here is a short account for those who like to hear about births. The rest of you can gawk at this picture and just imagine that the angels sang a chorus and we were spontaneously transported to the hospital where he just appeared in the bassinet next to my bed.

August Robert Bernard was born at 1:11 pm on Saturday, July 9, 2011. I had woken up to pee at 4:30 am that day, but something was a little different from the usual mid-night run. Sure enough, half an hour later I was contracting. For some reason I was not convinced this was it. By 6:00 or so I was not a happy camper - yet still not convinced. Meanwhile, hubs knew what was going on and got into full I-better-get-as-ready-as-possible gear. He was setting up the bassinet, cleaning the kitchen, tidying the dining table, somehow all while comforting me as I began to writhe every few minutes.

By 8:00 I decided that we needed to go to the hospital even though I feared getting there and being told this was just false labor or that we should've stayed home because it would several more hours before anything important started happening. I wasn't sure that I could endure several more hours of this, or believe that "real" labor might be harder. And so I made my delirious way to the car, although now I have no recollection of how I was able to manage it.

I had been imaging how this car ride would go for a couple of weeks and figured I would be berating hubs for hitting too many bumps and making my whole achy belly jiggle. In fact, I noticed zero bumps - I only knew that I was undoubtedly going to explode and FINALLY I embraced that this is happening.

There was only one moment of bickering, and it was over where to park. Really, it was just that hubs was going to park in the ramp as we had planned and it was very suddenly clear to me that I would not make it from the ramp to the ER. Indeed, as I walked the ten yards from our metered car spot to the doors, I was wondering what would happen if I just collapsed in the driveway. I didn't though.

Fast forward through almost passing out at check-in and being wheeled up to labor and delivery triage... the nurses got me on a gurney and started doing stuff. I don't know what, but it was all just a horrible way to torture me while denying me the drugs I always said I'd *try* to do without but now desperately needed. Check number one: 4 cm. Check number two about 30 minutes later: 10 cm.

Suddenly they were all, "let's get her to a room!" But they didn't know which because there had been no time to plan. We stopped in a few doorways before settling on a room. The hurry to get me into a delivery bed was quite cinematic. And then I proceeded to push for four hours.

I think there are a few reasons for this... 1) we hadn't had a chance to call anyone and my mom and sister needed time to get there; 2) like so many first-timers, I had to figure out how to push when it was both the last and first thing I wanted to do; and 3) it had all gone so fast and was so intense that my body was already wrecked - it was definitely what they call "back labor." Which means unbearable, hip-bursting excruciatingness.

I won't detail the actual delivery, but will say that I did feel it all. At many times during the process I thought, "I'm never doing this again," and other such dramatic beliefs that trauma induces. I'm not taking it back so far, as you can clearly see that I have not yet achieved the forgetting they talk about.

When August came out, they put him on me and the only thing I remember thinking was that I've never felt anything so soft. There were cheers from the room. My head was otherwise white noise. He didn't cry, he just looked around like, "well, here I am." And he was so soft. Apologies for the ridiculous mushiness, but suddenly my existence meant something totally different than what I'd ever known, because a human being was made. From nothing. I'm still trying to understand.

Stats:
7 pounds, 8 ounces
19 1/2 inches long
14 inch head cir.

Six days later we've come home and are doing all the things new parents do, and August is just doing his little baby things. Except for rolling over. He totally rolled from his front to his back at five days old.

The room is totally ready to not be used for like two months.

Tomorrow is 38 weeks! Translation: every moment becomes a waiting game. When will the real contractions start? Will I ever stop having night sweats? Am I ready for child-birth (um, no. Duh.)? Am I ready for parenthood? From a planning standpoint, perhaps. BEHOLD! The place where the child will eventually sleep but who knows when:



I admit that I might get real sick of green and yellow, but overall the room is a pleasant place to be. I can only hope the nugget feels the same. Because I'm not redecorating anything based on the whims of an infant. Unless he's going to help me make new pillows, curtains, chair cushions, and wall art. I hope he's a grateful baby. And a quiet one. And a clean one. Oh, God.

Apparently I never posted about the recovered chair cushions, or the last two pillows, or the wall hoops. So here are a few detail pics of that madness:

The chair *before* in all its pink, straw-textured glory...


The chair *after*...


Victory is mine! Seriously never thought I could pull off something like this with limited sewing knowledge and a tendency to rush through things. I did have some good advice though. The pillows...


Love making pillows. So easy and fast; and I'm going to keep making more and more because I've always wanted to have a "pillow room." Hubs knows this. It will probably be located under the basement stairs someday and I will lounge in there with snacks and a book and make people answer riddles if they must knock on my door. And finally, the embroidery hoops made with fabric scraps from the pillows and the crib bumper...


So I used two of the four crib bumper pieces between the hoops and the pillows. Now that I guess I've officially started "sewing," I'm wondering what to do with the rest. But really it'll probably be another five years before I sew anything again.

I get a lot of weird looks at the brewing supply store.

Cause I look like this:


Actually, people stare at me a lot no matter where I go. Creepy. Here's another angle for you:


You're welcome. That's from 36 weeks, which was actually a week and a half ago so now I'm *technically* full term. Wowza. Why would a lady giant with child be at a brewing supply store? Because hubs is crafty, too!

He's been brewing beer at home for maybe a year, sometimes with buddies who also work for the government - so they've named their endeavors "Red Tape Brewing." Eh? Eh? With that type of cleverness they could be journalists.


This is what's been creeping up the side of our house, trying to get in and fill our air with hoppy beer smell. Fitting that I should post this on July 4th; Independence Day. Poor hops have nothing left to climb, but hopefully they'll still yield enough flowers to get a batch out of.

Hubs has brewed his own recipe a few times with, I think, excellent results. I'm no connoisseur, having been out of the beer-drinking loop for the better part of a year, so perhaps any sip that hits my lips is like a sweet, sweet college memory. But really, I think it's just pretty good beer. And this is why I bring up the beer-craftiness going on in my house:


KEGERATOR. Built from a freezer, a home-made wooden tap collar, and whatever else goes into making kegs operate. I don't know. There's pressurization and tubes and the whole beer-making process is actually quite scientific and that's why I don't participate. I just go to the store and endure the glances of all the people who are hoping that they don't need to be judging me and if any of them talk to me they'll find that I have not been involved in any kind of unhealthy boozing behavior but that I do look forward to being able to have a beer once in a while. Except when that time comes I'll probably opt for a margarita.

Sm'Orr shower craftiness.

Once again I have to recognize my family for their generosity and general brilliance. My mom and sister threw us a shower last weekend, which was at my house and I totally recommend this because then you don't have to load all the stuff into the car to get it home. Here are the handmade gems bestowed:


It strikes me as very odd that our baby's room and some of his accessories have a bee theme - because what is scarier to a kid than bees? I guess the doctor. But bees are pretty scary. Regardless, illustrated bees are usually cute and so the theme remains and my mom cross-stitched one on a onesie. She also cross-stitched the Twins emblem without a pattern. Pretty impressed.


Every kid needs a blankie or three. You never know which one(s) they'll attach themselves to, but having a Patt-made blankie is a special tradition. Our friend has made one for all three of my sister's kids and, in fact, is making a new one for Laura because hers is just a tangle of threads at this point. So we must treasure the beauty of this knitting before it is bitten, yanked, spilled on, and generally loved to death.


Patt also made these super cute booties. You would think she weren't traveling the world for work or taking care of her own house and dog. Geez.


And my cousin Amelia, who is 13 (I think), knit this little blankie! Adorable; she probably spent hours and hours on this and I never even see her! But apparently she's getting a "babysitting license" this summer so that's going to have to change.


Becky outdid herself again by creating this amazing alphabet book out of a fabric letter set and a bunch of quilting prints. It's bound with just a ring and grommets. Chewable, droppable, throwable. She has pics of all the pages on her blog and they're worth checking out.


Aunt Dorothy did this cozy bear quilt. She couldn't make it to the shower but was very sweet to send something. She's been crafting for years and years and has done countless shows. I didn't realize she was a seamstress because I'm more familiar with her floral designs, but there you have it. Multi-talented.


And this one isn't from my family shower - it's from a shower with "the planner ladies:" the folks who got to know hubs while he was in grad school and/or their wives. Heidi, a domestic inspiration, sewed this plushy ball somewhere between caring for two young kids, recovering from cancer treatments, and probably making tortillas from scratch. She'd be an amazing women if she did half as much.

So I'm feeling a lot of love and support and am so grateful for the Bernard, Gray, and Orr families - plus all our friends who've been cheering us on all this time.

Stay tuned for the alien tentacles AND.....the nursery reveal!

Special people.

In the early years of high school I would come home everyday to a house devoid of parents for a few hours and could lounge at the television or computer at complete ease. In the summers, even the later ones when I had a part-time job, I had so much time on my hands that I now have no idea what I did with it all.

NOW summers are always filled before they begin and I wonder if this is different in regions where residents get more than a few months of good outdoor time. For us, the last half of June is *ridiculously* busy. In a good way except that I'm actually sick of eating cake.

June 14: Flag Day. Also the day Minneapolis was hit by a history-making tornado, which happened the same year that hubs was born. Here he is in all his adorableness:


This might also be a glimpse into our child's future. Hubs is my stability and also my insanity. Seriously, he drives me crazy sometimes. But his obsessiveness about certain things are a good balance to my carelessness, and vice versa. Most of the time he's actually keeping me sane. I'm trying to figure out how to impress upon him that he'll need to step it up a notch when the baby's here because my mental state at that point might end up where the unlucky Price is Right mountain climber goes.

June 19: Laura's birthday. Seven. Seven! Second grade?! She is loving, dramatic, and impatient. Sometimes she surprises you with her logic - sometimes her lack of logic. She wears her heart on her sleeve and she wants to be a teacher.


June 19: Sarah's birthday. She's the pig on the right. We've been besties for most of our lives so she knows all my secrets. She's actually the reason I wanted to do this post (even though I planned on posting it much sooner). See, she always has terrible awful horrible birthdays. To the point where you wouldn't even believe it if I told you. And this is sad because she is so passionate and open-minded and FUN! So we had a little date the day before her birthday and I think it was actually a good one. Nobody broke up or didn't show - and nobody showed who shouldn't have. No parties were ruined and I'm pretty sure no tears were cried. SUCCESS! And part of birthdays/holidays is celebrating special people, so this post was born.


Also June 19: Father's Day. My dad is hilarious. He gets me. He would do anything for me. He makes the best beef stroganoff in the world. Also the best ribs. He's the kind of dad they made Father's Day for (unless you're a cynic and believe it's just a holiday for retailers to capitalize on - shut up, just let me have this!).


June 21: Missy's birthday. I don't have a picture because I was planning on taking one at the pool party but it rained. Boo. So I wasn't able to hang out but heard it was one of her top birthdays. She's another lady who's had some rough times but deserves a good, solid, awesome birthday. Karma says rain can't stop a good birthday.

June 30: Grandma's birthday. Rounding out the month is an 89-year-old woman who loves double impatiens, Christmas cookies, and my dog. Seeing a family member grow old is not pleasant, but she still has moments of laughter and ease. She's excited to meet the baby, and I've been hoping he'll have similar memories of his grandma to my memories of mine. Sleepovers, grilled cheese, cinnamon raisin toast, watching old shows (for us it was Dick Van Dyke and My Three Sons).


Sheets and sheets of Christmas cookies.

Crafty shower gifts: Part 1.

Both sides of hubs's family gathered recently to celebrate my belly fruit in the traditional way. Gifts, games, and sugar. I know so many talented people - I must share here the handmade items we received that day.


Cousin Beth, of Silly Goose Designs, fashioned not only a crocheted blankie but also some onesies. Seen here: a Twins onesie with our last name and number 11 on the back (for the year of birth*) and a plain white onesie with suspenders and a necktie added. Not shown: a white onesie with a suit vest and tie added and another white onesie with an airplane applique.


Auntie Sue made a cozy blanket with some kind of magical fuzzy fleecy material with a satin binding. Finn LOVES this kind of thing and has approved the use of this blanket for his cousin.


Grandma Gray made a fantastic quilt with all sorts of print fabrics mixed with a cute giraffe fabric on one side and a cozy giraffe-hide flannel on the other. She makes quilting look easy. Amazing. It was paired with a conveniently matching musical stuffed giraffe. I'm just tickled by it all because I've been knitting a giraffe. I wasn't going for a giraffe theme, but apparently I'm not the only one who senses that the baby will like these majestic creatures.**


Becky (the hostess), made many things for the shower which resulted in a very cohesive and professional look. Seriously impressive. As favors, she had some shower elves*** fill bags with M&Ms and then top them with tags of her own design - made to coordinate with our crib bedding.


See? Very cohesive. The cake (Queen of Cakes) was topped with the cutest little banner that Becky made.


Another hostess creation: decoupaged blocks.


Cousin Kelly painted and glazed a cookie jar that reads, "thank heaven for little boys." Also in keeping with the baby room colors. Such attention to detail these people have.


Grandma B made a cart cover from some adorable fleece that says, "I [heart] grandma" all around these sweet, giant-headed bears. I know I'm a freak about germs, but come on. Think about all those carts in all those places people go even when they're sick. Cart cover. Boom.

So those are the handmade goodies I have pictures of, and I think there will be more to come.


*Maybe this is self-evident, but sometimes I need to have things explained to me. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant. Maybe not.
**Point of fact: giraffes have blood pressure twice that of the average large mammal. Also, their hearts can weight 22 pounds. Geez.
***Shower elves = Deanna, Rachel, Lauren, and Sue. More party planners extraordinaire!

Falling behind and catching up.

Well, we're at 33 weeks but I never got around to posting the pictures we took at 31 weeks or 32 weeks. This has inspired a frightening conclusion: I've spent my whole adult life running 10-15 minutes late, so once I have a kid it'll probably be more like 20-30. I really don't want to be that person. I really don't. Where do those minutes go? To last-minute bathroom breaks, running back to the cupboard because you forgot snacks, strapping the kid in the car seat and then having to take them out to change a diaper because you don't want them sitting in poo for a 45-minute car ride...


And where have these weeks gone? Mostly to planning showers, shopping for baby room goods, and putting my suddenly swollen feet up.


Meanwhile, I've accumulated several projects that various people have asked me to do and successfully let them stew on the shelf for...I'm embarrassed to say...months. I guess you don't stew things on a shelf. They were put on the back burner. There. But as birth looms nearer, some instinct is telling me I can't have obligations plaguing my conscience! I must scrape extraneous tasks off my plate! So I've matted three pictures, repaired four pieces of jewelry, and made two new necklaces I've been meaning to get to.


This one has large green jasper beads courtesy of my mom.

Next: repairing sweaters and making baby-room pillows (because, you know - they always tell you to give an infant plenty of pillows).

I wish I made this.

There's a "Peeps Show" diorama contest every year and I wish I would remember to enter. Who doesn't love making dioramas? Ok, the Auschwitz one Megan and I made in junior high wasn't so much *fun* as it was *devastating.*


But then there's this. It's my favorite of the finalists. ANIMAL!!! Now taking suggestions for next year's entry.

Baby room on a budget.

Ok. So I *could* have skipped the bedding set, the new curtains, the new paint, the wall decor, etc etc etc. Really, what does a baby need? A place to sleep (be it a $100 crib or a $500 crib, or a drawer as they did not so long ago), clothes (thank God for hand-me-downs), and food (me).

Well what's the fun in that? The coming together of this room and all the baby prep is quintessentially me - a good balance of frivolous and frugal. Here's how it's looking:


I maintain that my only error was going to Babies R Us with my mom and another woman of equal persuasive skills. Together they whittled away at my resolve with their dastardly logic and I bought the bedding set I had picked out as my favorite. It was $70 off for a floor model set, see.

And what does every crafter do when she's pregnant and facing a deluge of baby products to register for, buy, clean, and organize? She thinks "oh, I can just make that" about every fifth item and then suddenly she's got several yards of fabric and two sewing machines that barely work, plus two gallons of paint and a husband who will be recovering from foot surgery for a couple of months. She may become a little overwhelmed and possibly weepy.

On the other hand, I got the bedding on clearance, the paint with a coupon, the fabric on sale, and the wall art at a discount at my place of employment. All this cost about $275. At the original prices I would have paid about $415, and it would've been a lot more if store-bought curtains and a new rocker were involved. So we might splurge a little on the crib because the one we really, really, ridiculously want is maybe a little expensive. But STILL. I could totally be on Design on a Dime.

Winter Whites

For no reason in particular I recently decided to do a treasury. If I can't buy lovely things, at least I can hoard them in an electronic capacity.

Two things: rashes and crafts

Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here. It's almost like somebody's been too busy to blog, or read blogs, or even check email... ah, work. So here's what's been going on.

Unfortunately, the first subject is reminiscent of a previous post where I speculated on the success of a health-related blog, which I realized then - as I realize now - would be gross and inappropriate and unnecessary. Well, whatever. Let's revisit two weeks ago, when I thought I might implode from wanting to rub my back on a tree trunk bear-style. I was in the middle of a skin patch test that was thankfully as worthwhile as it was torturous. Here are my unexpected results:


The main culprit has been formaldehyde and formaldehyde-releasing preservatives. These are in everything from shampoo to lotion to makeup to clothes. Clothes. Also some topical antibiotic ingredients are to blame, and even though no one really seems to be sure of the meaning of "irony," I'm pretty sure it has something to do with unwittingly putting antibiotic cream that you're allergic to on a cut, allowing it to penetrate right into your system.


So wrinkle-free, wash-and-wear, and blended-fiber clothes may be a problem. Basically, I might have to buy an entire wardrobe of hand-wash wool and cotton. Or become a nudist. Before taking either of those leaps, however, I'm trying to switch all of my products to see if this clears up. I brought in a suitcase to my testing full of all the products in our house and came home with approval to continue using about 15% of them. Above, you can see the binder of info the doctor gave me, most of which is comprised of an itemized list of products that are safe for me to use. It's kind of a pain. in. the. ass. to bring a binder to Target or Walgreens, where I may or may not find something because many of the products are a bit obscure (hey, if you can't get it at Target...) and I don't necessarily have a ton of choices (for example, below you can see that of 150 reported conditioners, I can only use 17). Don't tell my optometrist, but I have yet to find an eye makeup remover. Honestly though, I can't complain. All kinds of horrible theories have been spinning a web of anxiety, so finding a relatively benign cause and being able to do something after a year of discomfort is so welcome.


Aaaaand, onto more fun crafty things. While I was pacing the main floor of my house concentrating on not itching, I was neglecting to prepare for the second HandmadeMN Market. Sure enough, I left all my business cards at home along with my receipt book and some of my more popular products. Still, it was a fun and profitable show thanks to the HandmadeMN leaders (Toni, Lindsay, Kelly, Jenny...) and their crack teams of helpers. The time of year didn't hurt either. Hoards of our customers were out holiday shopping. Everything I bought was for myself :) except for the ladybug hair clip.

I am thankful for dirt.

Things about Minnesota that I am thankful for and maybe someday will inspire a craft:


My family.

Freshly fallen snow that coats every little tiny twig on every tree-lined street, but only until it becomes a world of slush made gray by car exhaust.

Lakes. So many lakes.

Fireplaces that actually get used.

Summer sunsets at 9 pm.

Hotdish. Where would we be without tuna noodle casserole?

The MINNESOTA TWINS.

The North Shore. It's the Hamptons of MN.

Target. You're welcome.

Green bean casserole, preferably made with nothing but canned ingredients.

Dirt; specifically the warm kind that smells good because it is a reminder that it's summer.


I don't know how any of these could translate into a craft, but perhaps it'll be an interesting quest to embark upon, like the Native Americans discovering Grand Portage.*


*It wouldn't actually be anything like that, but I needed a MN-related simile.

Practical Layers with Impractical Shoes

Practical Layers with Impractical Shoes by Theresa 'Orr' Bernard featuring a vneck tee

It snowed the other day and I've still been able to resist getting out my long underwear. Must. Build. Tolerance.

I should be spending this afternoon off by preparing for the HandmadeMN Market this Saturday, but I'm not. I'm catching up on my stories and eating pizza rolls in an effort to distract myself from the insane, horrible, profound, soul-wrenching itchiness on my back. Eleven months of all-over skin irritation finally drove me to a patch testing clinic. A hundred and twenty-some patches were placed on Monday, followed by two excruciating days of wanting to set piranhas on myself. The patches came off today for an initial "reading," and the good news is that we might be figuring out the problem. The bad news is that I might be allergic to my clothes. So, since I'm not allowed to actually scratch the damn itch, I'm treating myself to a day in front of the television while attempting to numb 3/4 of my back with ice. This is the life(?).

Kids craft the darnedest things

Well, even though there has been little to no crafting going on in my house of late (*sob*), the kids have been creating all kinds of treasures and graciously gifting them to me.

For instance, this bookmark Laura made by using some fancy scissors on a bit of scrapbooking paper. It is sparkly and I love it.


And this painting Sammy did depicting a race track with race cars all around. One of the red ones (or possibly all of the red ones) is Lightening McQueen.


If you're familiar with Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages - which I put some amount of stock in - you'll understand when I say that I'm "gifts." Perhaps perceived as the shallow, materialistic love language, "gifts" people like myself are not really looking for things so much as the thought and effort behind those things. So when a six-year-old gives you something she would not use or necessarily care about but knows you'll use because she's drawing on something she knows about you (in this case, that I like to read), it's kind of perfect.

Which isn't to say that I can't appreciate gifts of sweet electronics and the like.

Max

I'm just racking up the nephews here, and I'm behind on the sharing. Newest one is Maxwell Douglas, brother to the infamous Laura and Sam, born of my sister's womb on September 16, 2010.


His second cousin, Emily, was born two days earlier over in Wisconsin. I wonder if her cord has fallen off yet. Max's fell off the other day and no one knows where it went. I think the dog ate it.


Max still sleeps a lot but he's hands-down the best eater I've ever known. He literally was born ready. I know because I was there. It was not as messy as I was expecting, and it was just the amount of disturbing I was expecting. Also miraculous and emotional.


Laura totally loves him and wants to hold him and is very concerned with his well-being. She makes his bed. Sammy is unsure, as any four-year-old would be, but is mostly amenable to the baby.


And all I want to do is squeeze and poke his little baby tummy and cheeks. That is all.