January 21, 2010

I'm not sure how this is supposed to make me feel

Random post not about crafting....more like Doogie Howser style than anything else....

I was offered a job today. I've been looking for a job for 19 months. I can't say exactly how many I've applied to, because that would require me to get out my laptop and open the spreadsheet that lists most of them, and I'm not going to kid myself and think people really even care or that I'm not just too lazy, but I'm going to say it's around 75. Maybe that's not right, but it's a lot. Definitely over 60, but probably not more than 100. The jobs have been in communications, social service, administrative support, retail, and anything else I might (or, frankly, might not) be qualified for or interested in - because I still don't know what I want to do with my life.

So here I am, one job offer in a year and a half, and it's in retail. And in a world where no one is getting a job, why would I not take it?

Then again, I got out of retail because 1) customers sometimes made me sad, and 2) I wanted to get some use out of my education. This hasn't really changed. I've run the gamut of emotions regarding my so-called career and thought about all the possibilities (me? Over-think things??), but now that I have a choice to make - by tomorrow - all the clarity I thought I had is gone. It honestly sounds like I might enjoy the job. But I don't want to work evenings and weekends. I know somebody has to do it. And if it's part time, maybe it won't be a big deal? I bet the customers will totally different. Right?

Fade in Doogie Howser music for the traditional episodic adage....

I guess hindsight is 20/20. Making a commitment isn't about finding the smoothest road, it's about making a choice and giving it your best shot. Maybe it's not about what you do, but how you do it. And if you can find some happiness in whatever hand you're dealt, then you'll be just fine. I'll let you know how it turns out.

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