Halfway to ohmygodwehaveababynowwhatdowedo?

Ok, diapers and naps and eating. That's cool.

But what if we have a cranky baby? How long is too long to cry? Is it normal to get up at random times to check that the baby is still breathing? What will we do when we run into all of the horribly scary and inevitable questions that every new parent faces EVERY DAY FROM HERE TO ETERNITY?

I suppose we'll get out a couple of the grocery bags we use for recycling, try to crumple the ridiculously large openings around our mouths, take two useless breaths, and then just deal with it.

I'm actually not freaking out - in general - about having a kid so much as I still freak out about potential problems with pregnancy/birth. Leave me alone! I can't help it! I'm emotional and forgetful and anxiety-prone! The warnings I've been given are clearly valid: once you're pregnant you'll spend the next forever worrying. First that you'll make it to the 12-week mark, then the 20-week ultrasound, then the 25-week mark where you feel like there's a reasonable chance for survival if the baby's born super early. Then the oodles of worries over the birth itself, and then the worries of post-fetusdom. Weight, brain development, choking, various colds and flus, acceptance at school, grades, broken bones and other injuries, and so on and so on.

Now, this is a crafting blog. But because we're at that celebrated halfway point and, given the monumental nature of having a child, some reflection is due. And now I think I'm done with the crazy.

Feeling him move around is my favorite thing ever. Sure, I cried when I discovered the emergence of stretch marks radiating from my distorted belly button, but I'm over it. I'm excited to be bigger. I want to wear sun dresses and, like my adorable friend E. Dittmar, I want to be that cute pregnant lady wearing a bikini at least once. I had some spells of ickiness in the early weeks, but was never ill. This time around it feels like my body was made to do this, and that's nice.

I'm doing yoga once a week. I've discovered that, as overwhelming as it is to prepare for a baby, I still enjoy it. Baby clothes are adorable, and luckily Becky has good taste, because we'll be able to borrow all of Finn's tiny things. I'm so grateful for having people around who will lend us things and understand my worrying and forgive my sleep-deprived, possibly weepy stupor. I'm grateful that I have a husband who is present and engaged, good in a crisis, and generally fantastic. I can't wait to get pictures of him and the child together. I really can't wait to see if they truly have clone pinkies, and if he'll pick up some of hubs's mannerisms.

In the mean time, I should maybe invest in some brown paper lunch bags.